Jealousy

I lied when I said I don’t feel jealousy.
I do.
Back then it was true; but today
it’s as false as the belief that the world is flat.
The thought that someone else
can take my place and enjoy your charms
is more than I can bear.

I’m not possessive;
I don’t want to own you.
But I do want to believe
that your smirk was drawn for me,
your voice was tuned for me, and
your arms were sized for me.

I have wanted other lovers
but I never longed for them the way I long for you.
When you are near, the space between us
seems a chasm too infinite to breach.
When you are far, our distance
seems farther than the galaxies above.

I do not understand what this means for our tomorrow;
I only know what it means for my today.
It means that in my flawed, imperfect way
I am learning to love you
as steadfastly and unconditionally as I can.

———
“Jealousy” by Azul Serena

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