Tell Me Where We Stand

I don’t know what you want from me or where we stand.
I think you like me and I think you care about me,
But there’s always a nagging whisper saying otherwise.
I know what I want:
I am asking for transparency.
If we like each other let’s be frank about our intentions.
You taught me that you prefer it when I am honest with you,
And in that manner, I am asking that you to be honest with me.
Know that I am prepared for failure.
If we don’t work out I will know how to heal.
I won’t resent you; I won’t resent us.
I will simply heal.
If you don’t want my affection, tell me; I will understand.
If you don’t want my friendship, tell me; I will understand.
Tell me anything just don’t leave me in the dark.
That’s all I ask:
Be honest and tell me where we stand.

———
“Tell Me Where We Stand” by Azul Serena

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I Sealed My Fate

I sealed my fate today.
I told the world my greatest secret:
That you are great
And worth the wait,
The challenge,
The reward.
I tried my best to keep you hidden
To bask in the thrill of your tight-lipped smile
And heave under the weight of your unwavering gaze
But the world demanded to know you,
To see you for who you are.
And so I shared you,
Reluctantly,
But I shared you,
My secret,
And sealed my fate.
A fate of warring insecurities and joys
Intriguing nuances and reveals.
A fate of drawing pleasure from your light.

———
“I Sealed My Fate” by Azul Serena

I Worry

I worry that the girl with the pretty hair and stylish coat
Is the reason you have gained those extra pounds
That you hid so well last month but are now peeking through your shirt.
I worry that her chuckle has become the lantern in your darkness
And my dimples have become a spot in your fading memory.
I worry that this sinking feeling in my stomach
And the sudden rush of heat racing through my veins
Will turn my heart into a frigid stone incapable of love.
I worry that my destructive love will tip the delicate balance of our ‘us’
Like the raindrop that bends the unyielding leaf and spills the brimming glass.
I worry that I lack the courage to tell you that I love you
And that the intensity of my emotions will be the force that pushes me away.
I worry that I’ve waited too long to tell you how I feel.

———
“I Worry” by Azul Serena

Rectify

Does my intent to rectify other’s impressions of you stem from a desire to have them appreciate your flawed beauty, or does it stem from a need to justify why I chose you as my partner?

It’s happened twice. Your name crept into the conversation and with it came the unexpected blow of poorly hidden disdain written across their brows. Their snickers and whispered malice. The roll of their eyes and easy dismissal. They thrive on that. They thrive off of you.

But why?
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Time and Distance

Time and distance are measured in units of You,
Where distance is marked by my proximity to your touch
while we each live on the wrong side of state lines; and
time is marked by the bittersweet scent of freshly brewed coffee
that reminds me that only minutes before we were detangling ourselves
from the arms, legs, and mouths that had morphed into one during the night.

———
“Time and Distance” by Azul Serena

The Sight of You

I was stunned by the realization that I was thirsty for the sight of you. I’d convinced myself that I could live with fleeting glimpses of your piercing gaze but my parched eyes told me otherwise. So welcomed was the sight of you that I was incapable of speech as I watched you watch me in your quiet, unapologetic way. I knew you knew that it was all too much for me, so you let me take you in one second at a time while your soft lips fought the teasing smile that would surely melt my heart. You didn’t rush me as I studied how your jet black hair framed your heart-shaped face, and how your dove-gray shirt stretched across your back. You waited patiently as I relearned the timbre of your voice when you greeted me with a playful hey. You even held me gently as I savored the well-known sweetness of your breath against my timid lips. You knew then what I know now: You were stunned by the realization that you were thirsty for the sight of me.

———
“The Sight of You” by Azul Serena