Pedigree

“Someone with your pedigree…”
Your words hung heavy in the air days after they traveled across the table
I fear you meant it as a compliment, how else could they be so sincere?
They weighed me down like chains tethered to my past
In ways that only lineage roots you to a name and material wealth
They dragged behind my steps like endless lines on a receipt:
The girth of my hips, the cinch of my waist,
The width of my shoulders, the sinews of my legs,
The depth of my eyes, the fullness of my lips,
The strands of my hair, the arch of my brows,
The thoughts in my mind, the degrees on my walls.
Am I thoroughbred enough for you?
Are my markings exactly those for which you search?
Or will I become another ledger neatly folded in your pocket
Perused when hope is thin and need is high?

———
“Pedigree” by Azul Serena

Heartbreaker

“You’re a heartbreaker, aren’t you.”
It wasn’t a question; it was a statement.
How like you to believe the truth of your assumptions.
But I played along.
I let you tangle me in your feathery string of words
Round and round until I lost my breath
And blended into the blurred surroundings of your starry night VanGogh
Desperately searching for the edges and angles
Anchoring you to me and us
Knowing I’d shatter against the impenetrable wisp of your love
Leaving behind painfully beautiful fragments of life.
But I played along.
So yes, I’m a heartbreaker.
I’m a terrible breaker of hearts.

———
“Heartbreaker” by Azul Serena

Goodbye

I knew instinctively that August afternoon was our last day together
I anticipated your silence, your gradual goodbye
So why am I breaking to pieces
One memory, one touch, one step at a time?
Is there a purpose to selfishly hoping that I’m not alone
When I ruefully smile at the thought of our hands
Timidly linked by the budding affection in your onyx-like eyes?
What’s my escape from this self-imposed sentence
Of senseless remembrance and guileless lies
When endlessly longing won’t bring you back?

———
“Goodbye” by Azul Serena